Alice in the Outlands
by Skuran
Summary: The shore by Salazen Grum was white and empty that afternoon, when the Walrus returned with Alice...
1. The Walrus

I

The shore by Salazen Grum was white and empty that afternoon, when the Walrus returned with Alice.

The young woman's yellow hair was sodden and tangled, and her skin was very white. The Walrus, wallowing shore-wards through the white-capped waves, had her pressed to his side under one large flipper. He flopped his way up through the surf, and deposited her in the shallows. Then he leaned over to nose at her, slowly, with his doggish, melancholy face.

But the Alice lay very still, her lips blue and her eyelids shut tight: they would not open.

The Walrus groaned deep down in his throat. Two large tears formed in his cloudy black eyes, and ran slowly down his snout.

"Oh dear, oh my, what a terrible pity…!"

Then he raised his head and shook himself all over in one massive, jiggling _hrrr-ummmph_! He slapped his tail down on the shore in his grief - so it would be evident to the gulls around that he did indeed regret his mistake - and opening his whiskery mouth, let out a sound like the ringing of a great clear bell over the shore. _Dong - dong - dong - dong._

From the twisting turning docks, lined with white-sailed ships, that spiraled out from the walls of Salazen Grum, a pack of figures came running. Foremost among them was a rabbit, dressed all in silver, and as he hurried forward and skidded to a stop before the Walrus, his eyes never left the shining pocket watch he held with one fore-paw.

"The Alarum! The Alarum!" cried the White Rabbit indignantly. "Why, it is seven o'clock in the morning, and far too early to be calling an Alarum!"

The Walrus only let out a lugubrious groan, and slapped the sand before him mournfully with one flipper.

The Rabbit caught sight of the sodden form behind the Walrus. He blinked in dismay, and squinted at it through his monocle. "Oh my!" he exclaimed, and his small, pink nose twitched violently. "Is that - "

"It is The Alice," moaned the Walrus, "I have brought her. And I fear that I have Drowned Her."

"Nonsense!" cried the White Rabbit. "It is not possible! Not possible! Why - why was I not told? Who gave _you _permission to fetch the Alice? Why was_ I_ not sent on such an errand? Why, I did it quite satisfactorily the last time!"

"The Queen sent me," choked the Walrus, amidst his tears, "And she sent Me because You cannot swiiiiiim."

"Oh, stop making such noise!" exclaimed the rabbit. He was even more upset than he would have been usually, both because stepping forward to examine Alice meant he had to get his hind paws wet, and because the Walrus, looming overhead, was raining tears down all over his new silver waistcoat. "It does no good. You will drown her a second time! Alice! Alice! Wake up! Oh, this is _not _working! You! Help me bring to the castle at once!" (This last order was directed at a small fleet of nervous-looking frogs, who had followed him down to the shore.)

"Yes, sir!" croaked the foremost of them.

Under his direction, the frog footmen seized the prone form of Underland's only Alice, and began to carry it up over the beach. The White Rabbit followed them, complaining loudly whenever they wobbled in formation, or let an arm or a leg drag in the sand.

The Walrus remained behind. As the ungainly procession passed beyond the reach of his short-sighted eyes, he let out a long sniffle.

"You don't think the Queen will be too angry with me?", he called out after them. "You don't think she will _cease_ my oyster ration?"

"I expect she will be very disappointed!" snapped the Rabbit back over his shoulder. "Drowning the Alice! In fact, I should be surprised if you ever get an oyster from Mirana's kitchen ever again!"

"Oh, dear..." moaned the Walrus. And he flopped off into the surf, as they continued up towards Salazen Grum.


	2. The White Queen

II

Alice woke. She coughed up a great deal of water, bitter and salty. A basin was pressed suddenly against her chest: she continued to choke up salt water into it for some time before she was able to focus on the hands that were holding it. Once her convulsions ceased, the hands withdrew the vessel carefully. They were not her mother's hands: they were not her sister Margaret's.

"Are you feeling better?" came a soft, familiar, voice.

"Not particularly." said Alice half-mindedly. She hurt all over, and the back of her head was particularly sore. "I - cough, cough, cough - I'm not sure - cough, cough - I've ever felt quite this badly. "

"Not to be rude." she added, with sneeze.

Mirana, the White Queen of Underland, set the silver basin down on the floor beside her, and held out a handkerchief to the girl, where she had been propped up in bed. Alice took it and wiped her mouth, before blowing her nose loudly.

"Thank you," she said. "This is a very strange dream. I've never had it before. I don't ever recall feeling quite so bad before."

"Well," said Mirana, "What is the last thing you do remember?"

"I - a ship. A storm. Was that a dream?"

"No."

"I saw a walrus over the side, when I was out on deck. It was very peculiar."

"Yes." said Mirana. "The Walrus did his best. I will truncate his oyster ration for it, I assure you."

Alice stared for a moment, baffled. She glanced around: the room she found herself in was small, square and dark. A very odd painting of something halfway between a bull and a turtle was hanging on the wall directly in front of her, and Mirana was seated in a chair nearby, her hair and gown and skin as colorless as ever Alice remembered. Her full lips, which always seemed to be on the verge of a calm (and sometimes very frightening) smile, were very red.

"However – cough, cough – could you know about the walrus?" Alice asked her finally, pushing aside the covers as she did so, and seating herself on the edge of the bed. It took considerable effort.

"You're here because I sent the Walrus for you," replied Mirana.

"But it was only a very small storm!" protested Alice, "And I slipped and fell overboard only _because_ I was so surprised to see him!"

"Perhaps you did." Mirana smiled, and shrugged gracefully. "The Oracularum was not very clear on that point. It merely showed me a ship, a storm, and the Walrus bringing you back to Underland, and so I sent him for you. Besides, if you didn't _want_ to fall overboard, why were you out on the deck during a storm in the first place?"

"That's irrelevant," cried Alice, "I can't just _disappear_! I was going to China!"

"Not anymore, I'm afraid," said Mirana.


End file.
